Adele at the Window - 2024 10 21

 

Graphite on paper 11" x 7 1/2"

It was Sparrow's 15th birthday yesterday and I was thinking about life starting anew and life starting over. 

In this drawing Adele was sitting at the window watching passersby on the street, and also checking on what I was up to inside the house. The expression in her eyes conveys the trepidation I feel at the moment of making this drawing. This is the first layer of graphite to layout the basic shapes and sizes of things in the picture. It also reveals my internal state, as my subconscious applies pressure to emphasize unspoken feelings as I consciously strive to render a recognizable subject.

Windows are literal thresholds. They indicate the edge between interior and exterior spaces. They symbolize possibility, "when one window closes, another window opens" and they can also symbolize caution, "I'm not going out there today". 

My sense of position in relation to the window changes day to day and moment to moment. Sometimes I am on the inside looking out and marvelling at the amount of rain that can pour from the sky. I am cozy inside. I am not going out. Sometimes I am on the inside anxiously looking out, wondering if everything will be ok, I know I need to get out there, but I'm not feeling confident or secure in my capacity or capabilities. Sometimes I am on the inside excitedly preparing to go out, to undertake a new adventure, I am looking back for re-assurance that I am up to this new challenge. 

For my grandchildren, life is starting anew each day. They are learning and growing. Baby Aurelia is learning to walk. Sparrow is learning live in the strange turbulence of no longer being a child but not yet an adult. Olive is learning to make her way on her own at university. Azriel is learning to build his own household. 

For me and my brothers and sister, life is starting over. We are in a new era, where our Mom is no longer with us on this physical plane. We are figuring out what it means to live with the spirit of our Mom and her legacy of unconditional love, pragmatic practicality, and enthusiasm for all things artful.

And so the beginning of layers of a drawing of Adele at the window. 

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