Infrastructure - 2023 12 06

 

Adele, Digital drawing on iPad, Nov 5 2021

Thinking about infrastructure - the dimensions of capacity and capability that make it possible for us to get done what we hope to, or need to, get done. Thinking about infrastructure in terms of physical space, practice routines and social connections.

Last night I spent several hours working on setting up my ad hoc studio and then sifting through boxes of photos and documents collected over a lifetime.

This morning I am thinking about ways to spin that lifetime of investment, experience, education and consistent practice into my late-life engagement with the economic system : )

PHYSICAL INFRASTRUCTURE

My studio time is necessarily interleaved with my Mom caregiving. Most of the time I am getting my artwork done in the little studio I have set up in Mom's suite. I can work on my idea development, drawings and painting while Mom watches tv, sits quietly, or naps. Some of the time I have an afternoon free from Mom care and I go upstairs to my second art desk on the main floor of the house. This desk is near the kitchen so I can mix up paints and washes with quick access to water. Less frequently, there is someone staying overnight with Mom and I can retreat to my own room on the second floor. In this room I have my third art workspace with access to my attic archives and library of books as well as space to work on drawings. 

Each workspace inspires different aspects of art practice - concept development, drawing, and painting. My work routines adapt day to day depending on Mom's care needs. My art inspiration draws from the quotidian realities of caring for Mom in proximity to our main mission, to let Mom's life expire according to letting nature 'take its course'.

My subjects are collected from whoever or whatever is 'near to hand', crossing into my field of perception long enough for me to collect reference material. The scale and scope of each piece is constrained by the size and location of my art desk. Sometimes all I have is a pen and paper, other times I have my graphite sticks, mechanical pencils and pencil crayons. Sometimes I have a mix of water, acrylic medium and ink, other times a mix of acrylic paint. Sometimes I have my full set of brushes on hand, other times a paint knife is nearby.

PRACTICE INFRASTRUCTURE

Drawing, painting and writing are the arts practices that make a significant difference on my day to day sense of well being. I can look back through my archives at a personal history of drawing that spans six decades. This wasn't something I planned to do, this was something I did no matter what.

At this point in my life, if I don't find time to do these arts practices I start to feel disoriented. It is as if these arts practices provide an orientation to my day and to the meaning of life itself. Simply putting pen to paper draws a sense of connection to the current day, and also a sense of belonging within the schema of eternity. When daily tasks pile up and I don't have a moment to myself to process through graphite, ink or words, I start to feel disconnected, both from the importance of anything I might do today, but also the grand scheme of what it means to be human.

SOCIAL INFRASTRUCTURE

Social infrastructure refers to the relationships that support the irrational persistence of investing in arts practice.

It is consistently difficult to make sense of the need to practice arts within the context of capitalist economy and the necessity to monetize our efforts. Monetizing arts practice is antithetical to the inspiration and irrational persistence to spend our time making sense of life and humanity through gesture, pressure, shape, and tone. However, after a certain point of investment into our arts practice, we have to figure out a way to make it self-sustaining within the context of the values, beliefs and interests that motivate us to make our art. This is an internal negotiation that we cannot do alone.

My social infrastructure is essential to my capability to invest in my arts practice on a daily basis. It is my social infrastructure - the words of encouragement, saying yes to the next step, trying something and failing to achieve the desired result, celebrating a capture of feeling on the picture plane, sharing the struggle for confidence, sharing the struggle for survival, sharing the struggle to sustain personal integrity, sharing the struggle to share the results of arts practice with the wider world, sharing the discomfort of asking for support to continue the effort through art sales, patron subscriptions, other forms of sharing the work for a larger audience. It is this infrastructure of supportive, encouraging, critical, and insightful discussions that breaks up the entropy of self-doubt that forms like a sediment of paint pigment at the bottom of a mix of wash.

Social infrastructure allows me to reach for values, beliefs, ideals and actions that transcend my own lack of confidence that my art is worth doing. My social infrastructure activates that part of myself that gathers strength to support the work when I cannot muster those resources alone.

My relationships with my husband, my children, my grandchildren, friends, patrons, neighbours form a complex web of social infrastructure that supports my irrational persistence to practice art. It is a critical dimension for sustaining both my capacity and my capability to get this work done.

Whatever difficulty we encounter today, we can think about infrastructure - the physical capacity, the practical capability, and the social networks that sustain us. We only need to improve one aspect of one dimension to find our way to the next right step.